There are times when we are undecisive. Moments when you just don’t know what to do and it’s frustrating, it’s stressful and you get all upset with yourself because you wish you could just know already.
I used to hate that feeling. The feeling of needing to decide on something and not knowing. That is until I learnt to see being undecisive from a different angle.
What is most interesting though about it is, the more we are undecisive, the more we doubt and the more undecisive it gets.
What I learnt is that being undecisive is actually a great thing and an advantage. Here is why.
Undecisiveness is nothing other than a lack of information.
Meaning that when you just.dont.know, don’t fuss too much over the why and instead remember, you don’t know simply because you require more information.
Here are 3 ways that you can use now to gain more clarity.
Maybe it sounds simple and even stupid but the number of people who don’t ask for more information is unbelievable. When you don’t know which way to go, what to choose, we tend to think:
‘I dont know what to do’
‘I dont know what to think’
Those 3 words are almost automatic and you know what? They’ll have to go from your vocab because they also happen to cut the flow completely. Answers cannot from that view point. Not knowing is hardly an effective way of figuring things out and therefore if something is not useful or effective, drop it, and find a way that is.
When you don’t know, the first step is to always ask yourself, in your head or aloud but ask because the truth is you ALWAYS know, even if you doubt yourself, even if you think you don’t know, you actually happen to always know and the challenge is not in finding the answer, but in actually listening to what it is that you know.
2. SIT WITH IT
For some decisions, decisions that are more important and that require some pro and con-ing, because they may be big or potentially life changing, don’t be in a rush. SIT with it. Sit with the options that are actually available and see how they feel to you. Don’t start imagining what could or might happen in a projected future, instead, just sit with the one option and then with the other and again feel into the options. You will know by how they feel which one is the right one for you. One will always feel more open than the other and if all alternatives don’t feel open or light or don’t give you a feeling of inner joy, then you may want to wait some more. It may simply be that the timing is not right or that you need more information before you can decide.
3. GET CLEAR
A lot of time we don’t know because we are not clear about what it is that we really want. We think we are but we really aren’t and this ‘not knowing’ is a reflection of that lack of clarity.
When we are not clear is when we start doubting, worse yet, we get into our head and start head tripping over which is best. Truth is there is no ‘best’ option, because every choice you make will inevitably bring you to exactly where you need to be. You need not be fearful about making the wrong decision…ever.
What you require is more information, more information about what you REALLY want. The moment you KNOW what you really want is when clarity and thus choosing gets much easier and simpler.
These techniques are quite simple to use but they require practice and a willingness to take undecisiveness as a practice to getting more clear about what you want in your life.
And if you simply cannot seem to decide no matter what, remember that there may be a good reason for it. It may not be the ‘right’ time to tackle that particular decision. Some things are not meant for now. Some things, particularly when it comes to bigger decisions require more asking, more sitting with and more clarifying about the things you truly want.
Either way, undecisiveness can be used to your advantage depending on the perspective you choose to take.