Knowing your values is life changing!
But first, here is what values aren’t
On the other hand,
Your values WILL influence your goals, your desires, your successes AND your ability to pass through societal expectations.
But what exactly are values?
Values are what drive you to do what you do
They are what matter to you the most
The trouble is that sometimes we are not aware of our values, we are not aware of what truly matter to us, we go through life wanting to achieve goals not always checking in with whether or not they are aligned with our values.
Often in life when we do not know which direction to go, when we feel like we are ‘lost’, it is often because we have lost touch with that deepest part of ourselves. We are disconnected to ourselves. We no longer know what it is that we value most. Without that, without the conscious knowing of what it is we value, of what makes us, us we set ourselves up for failure, whether in the goals we set for ourselves or even within ourselves. We thrive to achieve, do and when we do achieve or do we are left with a deep dissatisfaction, where something is just not quite right.
When we are not aware of our deepest values we go through life, pushing and we sometimes get sidetracked by things we think we want, we get distracted by things we should want rather the things that we truly desire.
There are two types of desires:
- The ones that look good and that we think are the right things to desire and there is the other type.
- The quieter desire, the one that murmurs in your ear sometimes, the one that you almost miss, that you dont often hear because you dont’ really believe it is possible. It is the one that in your heart you wish you could achieve but you won’t tell anyone because it might be too big, too weird, too bold, so you keep it quiet, away from others and even away from yourself.
There are desires that we think are everything to us when they are really goals that we want to achieve. And then there is the real stuff, the desire that is fed by an internal fire, that is fed by your values.
Being aware of your values means that you are aware of why you do the things you do and most importantly it allows you to identify and know if the things you are doing and whether the choices you are making are in ligne with who you really are.
You stop doing things radomly and you stop focusing your energy on things that are not even important to you. You might be surprised by the number of things we do and choose to do because we are not aware of the things that truly matter to us. You might be surprised to find out that your days are run by doing things that have nothing to do with what is really important to you.
But why exactly is it important to be aware of what is true for you?
Simple. So that you may live your life in alignment to who you are. Your values are a part of you, they make up who you are. Your values are the KEY element to living a happy life. You are happier because you KNOW what you stand for. You are happier because you are clear about the things that truly matter for you. You are happier because you are able to choose with more ease AND make choices that are right for YOU. Not for anyone else but YOU. Because YOU are the most important person in your life.
Here is how you can find out what your values are. It doesn’t take a lot of time to figure it out but it does require that you be really honest with yourself. Remember that your values are yours and knowing them or not knowing them does impact the quality of your life.
There is one essential question to ask if you want to find out what your values are.
What does being happy mean to me?
It can be anything except goals. Goals are things like:
Earning a certain amount
Looking a certain way
Working a certain job
Those are goals. They are not your values.
Values are things like
Being free to do what I want whenever I want
Spending time with the people I love
Adding value to the lives of those in needs
Your values are the things that matter deeply for you. Once you have asked what does happiness mean to me?
Why is doing what I love whenever I want important to me? Answer all the things that come up in your head and then ask again.
Why is […] important to me?
Do this until you have a list of at least 3 KEY values, up to 6.
Ask the question until you cannot come up with any more answers. Doing this exercise will allow you to find out and see what matters to you.
Don’t skip this step.
This is the foundation for everything that is to come, it is the compass for the decisions you will make. It is empowering to know what you value and it is essential to know who you are.
Knowing who you are, is the first step to creating and living a life that you love.
Once you have identified your values, the idea is to come back to those every time you are required to make a choice. You can ask yourself
Is this action, is this choice in line with my values? Is this going to take me closer to ‘happiness’ or to ‘freedom’ etc?
And then choose.