Live life on your terms

We easily get caught up into the system of doing things the ‘right’ way, of following a certain way because well others are doing it a certain way and it’s working for them so surely if you want your life to work for you, following someone else’s way of living seems to be the way to go. Right? Ideally….yes.

Realistically, not always. Unless you want to lose your sense of self and become a reflection of other people. But what if you could live life on your terms? What if you could do what makes YOU truly happy instead of doing what is right!

The truth is there is no right way of living. The only way that you can create the ideal life is by giving yourself permission to BE YOU and to do what lights YOU up. Regardless of whether it’s the ‘right’ way to do life or not.
Sure you have your responsibilities, like going to work everyday BUT that is no excuse to not live and create the life you want.
The point here is:
DO life the way YOU want to DO it.
and then ENJOY it the way it is and stop beating on yourself that you need to be more like others.
If you start loving the way you do your life and things WILL fall into place.
For me doing life that makes ME happy is:
to wake up when it’s still dark.
it’s to have one full day of the week where i do not work at ALL and spend that time in nature.
it’s to go grocery shopping 2-3 times a week (because i don’t do once a week with meal plans even if I THINK doing life that way would be so clever and time efficient but it simply doesn’t work for ME).
it’s to have a cold shower everyday because it makes my body feel alive.
it’s to choose NOT to socialise because i prefer being alone reading books
it’s to decide at the last minute which place i want to visit because planning times ahead just doesn’t seem to work.
it’s to cook when i feel like it and eat only fruits or veggies when i don’t.
it’s to write a weekly to do list for my monthly projects and goals.
it’s to write daily NOT knowing what i’m gonna write about
it’s to wash my hair once a week because it is better for MY hair type and it suits me just fine that way
Can you see my point? There is no ‘right’ way to do life but there IS YOUR way and it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t look like someone else’s facebook or insta account.
What matters is that it works for YOU.
What matters is that you personalize it to work for YOU.
Yes it’s useful to trial and implement certain habits, like eating balanced, exercising often, absolutely! BUT for the rest, we need to identify the things that MATTER to us.
Does it MATTER to you to spend hours preparing meals? Yes. Then SPEND hours preparing meals. No? Then don’t.
But no matter what lights you up, it’s not right or wrong or better or less better than.
Does it MATTER to you to spend hours planning and prepping your life in advance? Yes? Then DO it! No? Then don’t and learn to be OK with the way that works for YOU.
For a long time I had been striving to lead an ideal life, ideal according to everything i was seeing and reading online meaning that i was thriving for a perfectly organised, planned, time efficient everyday life.
It caused me to feel overwhelmed, dissatisfied, unhappy and frustrated with where I was because there was always SOMETHING i was not doing the ‘right’ way.
For years I engaged in a cycle of self-abuse because really that’s what it is.
Everytime you are beating on yourself, you are abusing yourself
Everytime you are criticizing yourself, you are abusing yourself
Everytime you are forcing yourself, you are abusing yourself
Self abuse has become the ‘normal’ way for most people but it’s not sustainable. Long term you will make you miserable.
The best way i found to live my life was to do what makes ME happy and accepting THAT.
Even if it didn’t look the picture perfect
Even if it means that my life is not planned 1 week ahead
Even if there are more efficient ways to live a life
Because what matters is how I feel about it. THAT is what matters.
What matters is honoring ME in the process of creating my life.
Leading your life from a perspective of self acceptance and self love allows you to choose what is best for YOU from a space of love. Not from a space of intolerance and criticism.
When you start leading your life the way YOU like it, things fall into place naturally, you get called to try new ways out of curiosity. You FEEL these new ways not because you have to improve or change but because you are curious to see if you would ENJOY these new ways.
There is no right or wrong way though there are ways that will resonate better with people.
It may be that a way you thought was what you wanted actually doesn’t feel good or doesn’t work for YOU. Learn to be ok with that.
It may be that you really DO want to implement a specific way of doing things because you know that it WILL feel good to you yet you are struggling implementing it, know that, that is OK.
The key element is to do what lights you up and to do it at your own pace and most importantly, to stop looking to others to define if you are on track or not.
The truth is we do not know what the other person is going through, we do not know what they went through to get to where they are today and most of all we do not know that they are happy EVEN if it looks like they are.
The only thing that matters is to care about YOUR happiness, and what it means to YOU.
If pushing yourself to the limit works for YOU, then accept it and PUSH yourself
If doing things gently softly makes you happy, then accept it and do things gently and softly
If being super organised makes you happy, then accept it and BE super organised
If NOT being organised makes you happy, also accept it and allow yourself NOT to be organised.
The idea is to always do what makes YOU happy.
Even when it doesn’t look right, perfect or ideal
Even when no one else is functioning that way
Even if no one else understands your way
It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you be true to YOU.

What matters is that you have your own back.

 What matters is that you live the life YOU like.

Because you don’t owe anyone a reason. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification. BUT you do owe it to YOU!