What should I do when I don’t know what to do?
There are many times when I have no idea what I should do and I’ve lost count to the number of times that I’ve wondered:
‘What should I do here because I don’t know what to do!’
What I’ve found is that when I don’t know what to do… the best thing to do is … well… nothing.
Now stay with me on this for a bit. I am not saying doing nothing as in ignoring what is going on.
Nor am I saying doing nothing as in being in victim mode.
Instead I mean, doing nothing in terms of being still.
Being still means coming to a space where you quieten your mind. It means you are not reacting to whatever is going on.
When I dont know what I should do, I take a step back and observe whatever is going on.
But the truth is…
It’s darn uncomfortable AND
It’s tempting to get involved in the emotional aspect of it… meaning to react.
But I KNOW that every time I react, nothing great can come of it.
The best thing I can do during these moments, is to remind myself that I am NOT my thoughts.
To remember that the answers, the ones that will bring clarity to the current situation will NOT come from my thoughts.
I remember that we cannot deal with a ‘situation’ from the same perspective that brought us to it.
We must remove ourselves from it, completely to see better, to get a more global view. We must remove all emotion and attachment if we are to gain awareness to a ‘solution’ that will create greater possibilities.
If my first reaction is to get emotional about a situation, I KNOW that I am required to take a step back. This is a great reminder for me that when emotions arise, it is no longer the wise in me that is in charge but the ego.
I remember that getting involved emotionally, that allowing my mind to take over, to run my behaviour and lead my actions will only bring more upset whether in the form of frustration, anxiety, anger.
When I don’t know what to do, it is always a great reminder to be present again, to come back in and be still and quiet. To find that inner peace.
Yes, situations bring up aspects of the self that are not completely healed, that are not fully integrated, but it is only a reminder to
Allowing the information to come through without getting all emotional about it.
EVEN if it is tempting to react.
A situation WILL move forward faster and with more ease if we can get out of our own way, without all the fuss.
When I no longer know how to handle a situation, I gather all the strength within me to step back and be still. But being still brings a lot of peace.
I am not talking about ignoring the way I feel.
I am talking about focusing on NOT reacting to whatever emotion is being stirred. Stepping back, being still and observing the stir within me and letting it be without judgement.
Remembering that this will also pass.
That it is simply a moment in time and even though it may be uncomfortable, it WILL pass.
Even though it may bring up intense emotions within me it WILL pass.
Even though I may be truly tempted to react to it and engage with it, it WILL pass.
And most importantly it will pass with a lot more ease if I can step back, be still and observe.