You know when you DON’T want something and yet it’s practically the only thing that you can think about? No matter how much you try to distract yourself it’s there, nagging you. You try different approaches, you try to reason with yourself, you might tell yourself that you are silly, that this is stupid. You might even manage to stop thinking about it for a little until you are right back thinking about it. You just wish you’d stop thinking about it.
Basically when this happens it’s for a very simple reason – you are RESISTING it.
Resisting a situation or a person means that there is something in that situation or person that you have judged as wrong.
Somewhere deep within you, you believe that whatever is happening, shouldn’t be happening.
Maybe you think that person shouldn’t be doing what they are doing.
Maybe you think that this situation shouldn’t be occuring that way.
Either way, you are resisting what is.
There is something in THAT specific experience or person that you are judgind AND wanting to exert control over. We do this because somewhere we have judged that it shouln’t be happening in that way and THAT is where the resistance is.
Being in a state of resistance creates a whole lot of struggle, emotional and also physical.
You might feel anxious, or frustrated, you might feel impatient or jealous.
Usually we will perceive this resistance in the form of a heaviness inside of our bodies. We might feel sick in our stomachs, get a migraine, feel a cold sensation inside our body (its the sensation you get when you want to distance yourself from someone).
But what if you could allow the experience to just be? You know that very emotion that you are NOT willing to experience?
EXPERIENCE YOUR RESISTANCE
Why? Let’s look at it from a different angle.
Imagine that your higher self knows exaclty what is ‘good’ for you.
Imagine for a moment that it knows the shortest and quickest way to get you to where you actually want to be.
Imagine that your higher self is bringing forth experiences that ARE in fact showing you what it is that you truly desire through your experience of its opposite.
The issue comes when we start THINKING that something should be different.
Yet imagine, if you could accept that what is, IS exactly what is needed in order to get you EXACTLY where you want to be.
How can we say that it IS exactly what is required when you CLEARLY don’t want that experience? Because it’s happening. If it wasn’t what was required in this very moment, it would not be happening.
I know from the mind’s perspective this seems ludicrous. It seems unfair and almost cruel that to get what you want you’d need to experience exactly its opposite first. Yet the more you resist what IS, the more what IS remains exactly as it is.
RESISTING IT MAKES IT STICK
The more you resist it, the more it STICKS you.
The more you resist the experience and the more it gets more difficult and complicated and stressful.
There is a trick. The simplest way to deal with situations and people that we do not want and like is to face it completely, to be curious about it.
Imagine for a minute that the reason that you think a situation or person is bad or wrong is because there is something within YOU that is being triggered.
Usually it would be triggered by a deep seated fear within yourself. THAT fear is the aspect that you are wanting to escape from, it is the feeling inside of you that you are wanting to STOP.
But what if you faced it completely? Have you ever wonderered what it would be like if you faced THAT fear?
That’s the trick.
Facing our fears and emotions completely allows us to release our resistance. And we do so by allowing ourselves to dive fully INTO the feeling that we are attempting to run away from.
Being willing to dive into an emotion doesn’t mean that your fear will become true. Most people think that. But if anything, it is likely that the MOMENT you are willing to acknowledge and dive into your fear, that it will transcend.
You will have released resistance. By being willing to experience the opposite of what we want when things are not working out, we propel ourselves into the experience we desire BECAUSE there is no more resistance.
No matter what the experience is, not resisting it, IS the fastest way to get you where you want to be. Our only ‘job’ is to embrace the experience and to be present with whatever is arising within ourselves.
Know that everything is temporary, nothing stays the same. We can choose to embrace an experience knowing that it will provide us with the necessary information, preparation for what is to come or we can resist it.
We can stick ourselves with it at the risk of spending years going in circles. All of this because we are unwilling to let go of a point of view that what is happening shouldn’t be happening.
Our thoughts are what are causing us to resist what IS. Those thoughts are causing us to experience things as more painful. Our thoughts are what creates our resistance.
A trick that works is to question our resistance. Asking questions lets us receive insight around what is going on. One way or another, we will receive the information. But we must ask.
When a situation or person is sticking you, you can ask:
“What is really going on here?”
“What do I need to learn from this experience?”
“How can I embrace this experience?”
The process of asking questions will help you release your resistance.
So everytime something is sticking you, because you feel threatened, because you feel jealous, because you feel overwhelmed, or whatever it may be, acknowledge that you are feeling how you are feeling. Try to remember that rather than wanting for that feeling to stop, rather than distracting yourself AWAY from the feeling to dive in it.
You are not going to die.
Nothing ‘bad’ will happen if you do this.
But you WILL transcend the emotion and something greater will show up.
So get curious about what would happen IF your fears were to actualise.
Wonder…what would happen to you?
Explore these parts of you.
Shed light into these parts of you.
This process is simple but not easy. But if you are willing to experience the opposite of what you want, you will release the resistance that is keeping you stuck in the situation that you do not want.