I was recenlty going through a phase in my life where i had this point of view that i should be much further ahead than where i am in my life. I was grappled with this feeling of not wanting to be where I was, with the discomfort that even though I have done a great deal that it is not enough and that i should NOT be where i am right now. This made me wonder, what do I do when I don’t want to be where I am?
This way of thinking is detrimental in the way that it brings a lot of unecessary pain to the experience. Everything becomes more painful because we hold onto the thought that where we are NOW is not where we should be. Where we are now is NOT how its meant to be and that because it is that way that there must be something wrong.
The pain and suffering associated to this way of thinking doesnt just stop to the emotion, frustation, anger, sadness, it also extends to other parts of our lives, such as our focus. when we are *locked into our mind we are no longer focusing on what really matters, we become distracted. We are no longer working towards what we desire, instead we are reveling in what we do NOT desire, going in circles.
It is necessary to acknowledge where we are and where we desire to be and it is equaly important to embrace each experiences because they always hold valuable information. Information that is necessary to our growth, information that assists us on our journey.
Pain and suffereing is only a consequence of the thoughts that we think, ‘i should be well ahead by now’, ‘this is not where i am meant to be’, ‘i dont want to be here’ ‘this shouldn’t be happening’, ‘i should be able to […] by now’ etc. the judgement is endless. the stories we create around these judgements intensify the emotion, it feeds the emotion, yet we continue to look for external factors, we continue to seek outside of ourselves for the answer and we continue to focus on the external for answers.
Ultimately we chase a future in the hope that THAT future will complete us, one way or another. We hold on to the thought that when we will be where we want to be, that things will be better. We delude ourselves when we do that because the future does not exist and the emotion that we are experiencing now will also follow us into the future. There is nothing external that can complete a lack, because a lack is felt deep within. External elements can and often alleviate whatever internal turmoil we are experiencing but it is always temporary.
That is a good reminder. Remembering that what we are experiencing NOW, emotionally is to be embraced in the NOW or it will transpire into the future where it will need to be dealt with IN the future with an added ‘inconvenience’, intensity. The more we resist something, the more we are required to release our resistance to it, the more intense it will get. So as to encourage us to release it.
However we tend to resist more when things get intense. We do it backwards. The more it gets intense the more we resist it, the more we recreate it and so the more intense it becomes and the cycle continues.
Resistance is a reminder that we are not in our personal truth, it is a reminder that we are in our head.
Not being where we are, can be a platform to help us become CLEARER around what it is we truly desire OR it can be a source of pain and suffering in which case we lock ourselves into that very space.
From the higher self’s perspective, an undesired situation is a door towards what it is we truly desire. it is never intended to cause pain and suffering though the mind like to think so.
The mind gets fearful by its limited point of view.
There is a way to experience what we have decided we do not want with more ease and less suffering and pain.
The way to evolving through the experience is to recognize it as a way for us to :
- get clearer about what it is we truly desire
- acknowledge within the self an aspect that is fearful
- embrace the experience as necessary to where we desire to be
It is not an easy process however it is simple to apply.
What happens is that when we do not want a situation we contract. instead of choosing to contrat we can ask ourselves ‘what is going on?’, ‘what is the message for me here?’ ‘what am i avoiding?’ ‘what am i unwilling to acknowledge?’
when we react there is always an aspect of ourselves that we are not willing to acknowledge that we are avoiding because we think it would be too painful or uncomfortable to face.
The same thing happens when we find ourselves ‘stuck’ in a situation that we do not want to be in. There is something that we want to avoid and it is that very thing that we are required to look at and acknowledge and embrace.
It takes courage and a willingness for change to occur. Even if that change is uncomfortable, it is required because it is the way towards the life that you want. We cannot skip a step. We cannot avoid the lessons we are here to learn, even if we push, all that happens is that we bypass them for a short time, until they catch up again. Because the inner turmoil always catches up because it is a part of us, so why not face the issue now?
One way to assist you apart from asking questions and asking for guidance, is to write it down. Write in a way that allows you to acknowledge what is.
- What is is that i feel frustrated
- what is is that i feel disappointed in myself
- what is is that I dont want to be where i am now
- what is is that i should be well ahead of where i am now
- what is is that i am angry with myself
and so forth. This allows you to be completely honest with yourself and to not go in judgement of what is. Acknowledging what is, is a great way to release resistance because you feel heard.
After writing down what is, when you feel ready, you can start writing your intention. Meaning the things that you would like.
- My intention is to feel happy
- My intention is to create the life i want
- My intention is to release my resistance
- My intention is to acknowledge everything i have already achieved up until now
- My intention is to be kind with myself and so forth
Doing so will not make the emotion go away completely but it WILL allow you to see clearer into what is really going on and it will allow you to release your resistance so that your emotions are not felt so intensely.